Jim Wright (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
meanwright) wrote2025-12-25 11:42 am
meanwright) wrote2025-12-25 11:42 am
Post-Mortem on Santa's Fried Chicken
Post-Mortem:
Can't say I'm happy with all of these drawings or many of these couplets, but it does have the advantage of being "done."
Some things that I did because I sent a color version to Australia, which means I had a very short time to make it.
So short, the descriptions weren't rhymes.
1
Jim Wright
![[bsky.social profile]](https://web-cdn.bsky.app/static/favicon-16x16.png)
meanwright.bsky.social
· 2h
The text is worse.
I was working on them until Christmas Eve while trying get done with IG posts (which include the color versions), and although I'm okay with some of the couplets, I wonder where some of the rhymes come from.
Door-Dour?
Them-Limb? Well, "'em" was "Grim" at one point.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social
· 2h
I did read out the entire thing on a series of roguelike playthroughs on YouTube, and most of the couplets are serviceable.
At least I didn't wince when I read them aloud.
But that is the first thing I did wrong: I didn't read the rhymes aloud. That would have helped catch a lot of problems.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social
· 1h
For the drawings a couple of things stand out:
(1) Perspective shots are a little off. Especially on early drawings (most of the late drawings are the fights).
(2) The ink work is often poor.
However, when looking at it while showing on YouTube I was very happy with most of the drawings.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social
· 1h
Three drawings were redone:
(5) The Guardbot entrance. I never got that working. The guardbot was designed only in profile, so that's a lack of planning.
(8) The paw-to-hand battle. Really, this was a replacement for something worse.
(18) Santabot swarmed by elfbots. More dynamic now.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social
· 1h
To improve:
(a) Designs should include multiple perspectives.
(b) More redrawing for complex items, e.g. pp. 4, 11-12,* and work on linework
(c) Be a little more careful with keeping designs consistent and with continuity (lost snow-shuriken on p 11).
[To self: Story post-mortem. Things I like]
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social
· 1h
The Story:
There was too much action.
As much as I like a lot of those fight panels, they changed the character of the story by taking up most of the pages. They were the last things drawn and connected the three other parts (1) The Middle, (2) The Beginning and (3) The End.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social
· 54m
I should have tried to plot a little more to improve this.
Instead, I ended focusing on the continuity of the fight scenes and limited what I could do plot-wise. I probably don't need two blow-by-blow fights like in a comic book when I only have 28 panels to illustrate (approx. 4-5 pages).
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social
· 52m
What I liked:
As I did read this aloud - and displayed the panels - on YouTube, I did get to see things that I really liked.
Some of them are things I've said I have problems with: the perspective in p 12, although showing that it was done free-hand and the problems with the dude, is vertiginous.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social
· 36m
I liked some of the framed backgrounds, page 3 and page 11.
I liked many of the layered panels. Some of them looked quite 3D, especially some of the fight scenes. Particular examples are page 10, 11, 12, 19, and 25.
I liked the foreground/background dual storytelling on pp. 21-23.
And the page 18 redraw is a favorite for its dynamicism.
Some of the fight panels also have great dynamicism 7, 18, 19 and 25.
And I love page 2.
I liked some of the more fun rhymes, with onomatopes and made up words. Not a lot to like, but some things I did.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social
· 28m
The story got away from me, but I do like that it is coherent.
Things happen in order. Robots have motivations. I think that those come through in the panels and in the narration.
I like that the narrator was some unknown security guy looking through cameras.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social
· 28m
This adds realism:
We all know that all NSA reports are in verse.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social
· 16m
How to apply this:
(A1) I, Faustus
Santabot is most similar to I, Faustus in format. A single-panel page with some verse on the bottom. There should be some learning available.
The place that this works most for is in the verse, since that's where I got stuck when I was trying to write I, F.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social
· 11m
I think just "finishing" this is the main thing for reigniting I, Faustus.
I, F. did not have the action problem. Maybe it could develop one, but I doubt it. It is much better plotted. Even if the plot is only part written, it is pretty well plotted out before I start drawing.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social
· 3m
(A2) A Comedy of Robots
The look of Santabot is based on A Comedy of Robots, so there might be something to learn.
The storytelling in ACoR is much more like a comic strip (which may have contributed to design problems of the guardbot), but I don't think there will be a need for fight scenes.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social
· 24s
So, I do not have a good idea of how to use this to improve A Comedy of Robots.
Yet.
Can't say I'm happy with all of these drawings or many of these couplets, but it does have the advantage of being "done."
Some things that I did because I sent a color version to Australia, which means I had a very short time to make it.
So short, the descriptions weren't rhymes.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social· 2h
The text is worse.
I was working on them until Christmas Eve while trying get done with IG posts (which include the color versions), and although I'm okay with some of the couplets, I wonder where some of the rhymes come from.
Door-Dour?
Them-Limb? Well, "'em" was "Grim" at one point.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social· 2h
I did read out the entire thing on a series of roguelike playthroughs on YouTube, and most of the couplets are serviceable.
At least I didn't wince when I read them aloud.
But that is the first thing I did wrong: I didn't read the rhymes aloud. That would have helped catch a lot of problems.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social· 1h
For the drawings a couple of things stand out:
(1) Perspective shots are a little off. Especially on early drawings (most of the late drawings are the fights).
(2) The ink work is often poor.
However, when looking at it while showing on YouTube I was very happy with most of the drawings.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social· 1h
Three drawings were redone:
(5) The Guardbot entrance. I never got that working. The guardbot was designed only in profile, so that's a lack of planning.
(8) The paw-to-hand battle. Really, this was a replacement for something worse.
(18) Santabot swarmed by elfbots. More dynamic now.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social· 1h
To improve:
(a) Designs should include multiple perspectives.
(b) More redrawing for complex items, e.g. pp. 4, 11-12,* and work on linework
(c) Be a little more careful with keeping designs consistent and with continuity (lost snow-shuriken on p 11).
[To self: Story post-mortem. Things I like]
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social· 1h
The Story:
There was too much action.
As much as I like a lot of those fight panels, they changed the character of the story by taking up most of the pages. They were the last things drawn and connected the three other parts (1) The Middle, (2) The Beginning and (3) The End.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social· 54m
I should have tried to plot a little more to improve this.
Instead, I ended focusing on the continuity of the fight scenes and limited what I could do plot-wise. I probably don't need two blow-by-blow fights like in a comic book when I only have 28 panels to illustrate (approx. 4-5 pages).
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social· 52m
What I liked:
As I did read this aloud - and displayed the panels - on YouTube, I did get to see things that I really liked.
Some of them are things I've said I have problems with: the perspective in p 12, although showing that it was done free-hand and the problems with the dude, is vertiginous.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social· 36m
I liked some of the framed backgrounds, page 3 and page 11.
I liked many of the layered panels. Some of them looked quite 3D, especially some of the fight scenes. Particular examples are page 10, 11, 12, 19, and 25.
I liked the foreground/background dual storytelling on pp. 21-23.
And the page 18 redraw is a favorite for its dynamicism.
Some of the fight panels also have great dynamicism 7, 18, 19 and 25.
And I love page 2.
I liked some of the more fun rhymes, with onomatopes and made up words. Not a lot to like, but some things I did.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social· 28m
The story got away from me, but I do like that it is coherent.
Things happen in order. Robots have motivations. I think that those come through in the panels and in the narration.
I like that the narrator was some unknown security guy looking through cameras.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social· 28m
This adds realism:
We all know that all NSA reports are in verse.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social· 16m
How to apply this:
(A1) I, Faustus
Santabot is most similar to I, Faustus in format. A single-panel page with some verse on the bottom. There should be some learning available.
The place that this works most for is in the verse, since that's where I got stuck when I was trying to write I, F.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social· 11m
I think just "finishing" this is the main thing for reigniting I, Faustus.
I, F. did not have the action problem. Maybe it could develop one, but I doubt it. It is much better plotted. Even if the plot is only part written, it is pretty well plotted out before I start drawing.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social· 3m
(A2) A Comedy of Robots
The look of Santabot is based on A Comedy of Robots, so there might be something to learn.
The storytelling in ACoR is much more like a comic strip (which may have contributed to design problems of the guardbot), but I don't think there will be a need for fight scenes.
1
Jim Wright
meanwright.bsky.social· 24s
So, I do not have a good idea of how to use this to improve A Comedy of Robots.
Yet.